Pokémon Winds and Waves leaks finally give an old monster its due

A new Pokémon game is on the horizon, and that can only mean one thing: We will be forced to endure waves of farfetched “leaks” from so-called insiders until Pokémon Winds and Waves launch. Thus is the way of the world.

The latest rumors come by way of [checks notes] X user @kurwashibamaste, who claims that Winds and Waves will feature 300 all-new monsters, including regional form variants. It sure sounds like wishful thinking, but I guess I can’t formally write it off, just as you wouldn’t be able to debunk me if I said “Winds and Waves will feature an NPC named Cyber Jerry who turns your monsters into black market RAM.” More realistic in the claim that the RPGs will feature a new battle gimmick where Pokémon will get special weather forms.

For my own mental health, I’m not putting much stock in these rumors right now. I will, however, use that last point as an excuse to celebrate an all-time mid monster. I’m officially declaring today Castform Appreciation Day. Everyone must say something nice about Castform today as penance.

Image: OLM, Inc.

Introduced in Pokémon Ruby and Sapphire, Castform’s claim to fame is that it’s an affront to Mother Nature. The sentient droplet was engineered by researchers at Hoenn’s Weather Institute who were trying to figure out how to manipulate weather — presumably to ensure that Coachella could go off without a hitch. The result of that work was a googly-eyed lump whose type and appearance changes based on the weather.

If I’m being honest, Castform kind of sucks, which makes this whole Castform Appreciation Day idea flawed. I probably should have thought about this more before I declared this holiday. It’s a total novelty that wasn’t even memorable when it was a fresh gimmick. But I did say that everyone has to say something nice about Castform today, so I have to lead by example.

Let’s see, uh… Pokédex entries! Right, even the most boring monsters tend to have some sicko lore attached to them. Surely Castform has some dark backstory where it was responsible for a tsunami that killed Dialga or something.

Actually, no, scratch that. The multiple Catsform Pokédex entries mostly just say that it changes form based on the weather. Yeah, I got that part. It does at least imply that Castform has no free will, but do any of us really? We are all prisoners forced to endure Pokémon leaks until we wash away.

Back to the drawing board here. Oh! I bet Castform has some secret viability in the competitive meta, like the sentient key ring Pokémon. Weather teams are a whole thing, and what is Castform if not the king of the climate? According to Smogon, Castform is in the ZU tier. That’s good, right? Like, Zygarde tier?

Oh, wait, that actually means ZeroUsed. That makes sense considering that all of its base stats, across all forms, sit at a flat 70. That’s pitiful, brother.

I’m not going to lie; the first annual Castform Appreciation Day is looking dire. Castform’s big moment in the anime series comes from an episode titled (sigh) Unfair Weather Friends. It’s an episode where Brock tries to hook up with a meteorologist. In it, we learn that Castform’s trainer is named Bart. I’ve got nothing.

OK, so what if Castform kind of stinks by every conceivable metric? As an early experiment, I kind of respect the intent behind it. It was the series’ first real stab at a form-changing monster, something that has now become commonplace. Castform arguably paved the way for Arceus, Silvally, regional variants, and more. If Winds and Waves does happen to give monsters weather forms as rumored, you can consider Castform patient zero for whatever body horror awaits us.